Words to Live and Write by

I am willing to fall Because I have learned how to rise.

I craft Love from heartbreak, Compassion from shame, Grace from disappointment, Courage from failure.

I am among the brave and brokenhearted, and I am rising strong.

(credit to Brene Brown)

Friday, December 20, 2013

To Lana, at age Two

Dear Lana,

I cannot imagine there has ever been a child as loved as you. I know, for myself, that I have never loved anyone so perfectly and selflessly as I love you.

From the day you were born you've been a miracle. It took a lot of pain and sacrifice to bring you into this world, but you were strong and very determined. Angels protected you every moment, and I believe they still do.

You have such a strong personality that has always been evident. I say your blood is filled with sugar and spitfire. You have the biggest, most tender heart I've known. You are so sensitive to your surroundings, and concerned whenever someone is sad, and anxious to help. That's the sugar you were born with. You also know your own mind and what you want, and you won't let anything come between you and your goal. That's the spitfire.

You are still so young now, but you grow every day. Most of the time I think you're growing too fast and I miss your first months. You were my first, and I was so lucky to have such a good-natured baby. You hardly every cried. You'd wake up laughing and singing (my mother says I did the same thing), and our days were slow and filled with cuddling. That was always my favorite part: holding you in my arms and looking at your beautiful face while you slept. Your dad and I used to get greedy over who got to hold you in church.

But you've grown up; in your own determined way, nothing has been an obstacle for long. You love to move and dance and sing and run and laugh. You truly are a joy. Every night, after you go to bed, we stay up talking about all the cute, sweet, amazing things you did that day.

You are so loved, Lana. I'd say I love you with my whole heart, but my heart just isn't big enough. It's like my heart breaks open and glorious light/love comes pouring out and fills me to overflowing. I'm surprised I don't start literally glowing.

I just want you to know you are loved. Completely. Forever. Unequivocally. Beyond comprehension.

I am so grateful that I get to be your mommy. Thank you for being my daughter.