Like a Broken Vessel
By Elder Jeffrey R. Holland
Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles
The Apostle Peter wrote that disciples of Jesus Christ are to have “compassion one of another.”1
In that spirit I wish to speak to those who suffer from some form of
mental illness or emotional disorder, whether those afflictions be
slight or severe, of brief duration or persistent over a lifetime. We
sense the complexity of such matters when we hear professionals speak of
neuroses and psychoses, of genetic predispositions and chromosome
defects, of bipolarity, paranoia, and schizophrenia. However bewildering
this all may be, these afflictions are some of the realities of mortal
life, and there should be no more shame in acknowledging them than in
acknowledging a battle with high blood pressure or the sudden appearance
of a malignant tumor.
In
striving for some peace and understanding in these difficult matters,
it is crucial to remember that we are living—and chose to live—in a
fallen world where for divine purposes our pursuit of godliness will be
tested and tried again and again. Of greatest assurance in God’s plan is
that a Savior was promised, a Redeemer, who through our faith in Him
would lift us triumphantly over those tests and trials, even though the
cost to do so would be unfathomable for both the Father who sent Him and
the Son who came. It is only an appreciation of this divine love that
will make our own lesser suffering first bearable, then understandable,
and finally redemptive.
Let
me leave the extraordinary illnesses I have mentioned to concentrate on
MDD—“major depressive disorder”—or, more commonly, “depression.” When I
speak of this, I am not speaking of bad hair days, tax deadlines, or
other discouraging moments we all have. Everyone is going to be anxious
or downhearted on occasion. The Book of Mormon says Ammon and his brethren were depressed at a very difficult time,2
and so can the rest of us be. But today I am speaking of something more
serious, of an affliction so severe that it significantly restricts a
person’s ability to function fully, a crater in the mind so deep that no
one can responsibly suggest it would surely go away if those victims
would just square their shoulders and think more positively—though I am a
vigorous advocate of square shoulders and positive thinking!
No,
this dark night of the mind and spirit is more than mere
discouragement. I have seen it come to an absolutely angelic man when
his beloved spouse of 50 years passed away. I have seen it in new
mothers with what is euphemistically labeled “after-baby blues.” I have
seen it strike anxious students, military veterans, and grandmothers
worried about the well-being of their grown children.
And
I have seen it in young fathers trying to provide for their families.
In that regard I once terrifyingly saw it in myself. At one point in our
married life when financial fears collided with staggering fatigue, I
took a psychic blow that was as unanticipated as it was real. With the
grace of God and the love of my family,
I kept functioning and kept working, but even after all these years I
continue to feel a deep sympathy for others more chronically or more
deeply afflicted with such gloom than I was. In any case we have all
taken courage from those who, in the words of the Prophet Joseph,
“search[ed] … and contemplate[d] the darkest abyss”3
and persevered through it—not the least of whom were Abraham Lincoln,
Winston Churchill, and Elder George Albert Smith, the latter being one
of the most gentle and Christlike men of our dispensation, who battled
recurring depression for some years before later becoming the
universally beloved eighth prophet and President of The Church of Jesus
Christ of Latter-day Saints.
So
how do you best respond when mental or emotional challenges confront
you or those you love? Above all, never lose faith in your Father in
Heaven, who loves you more than you can comprehend. As President Monson
said to the Relief Society sisters so movingly last Saturday evening:
“That love never changes. … It is there for you when you are sad or
happy, discouraged or hopeful. God’s love is there for you whether or
not you feel you deserve [it]. It is simply always there.”4
Never, ever doubt that, and never harden your heart. Faithfully pursue
the time-tested devotional practices that bring the Spirit of the Lord
into your life. Seek the counsel of those who hold keys for your
spiritual well-being. Ask for and cherish priesthood blessings. Take the sacrament
every week, and hold fast to the perfecting promises of the Atonement
of Jesus Christ. Believe in miracles. I have seen so many of them come
when every other indication would say that hope was lost. Hope is never
lost. If those miracles do not come soon or fully or seemingly at all,
remember the Savior’s own anguished example: if the bitter cup does not
pass, drink it and be strong, trusting in happier days ahead.5
In
preventing illness whenever possible, watch for the stress indicators
in yourself and in others you may be able to help. As with your
automobile, be alert to rising temperatures, excessive speed, or a tank
low on fuel. When you face “depletion depression,” make the requisite
adjustments. Fatigue is the common enemy of us all—so slow down, rest
up, replenish, and refill. Physicians promise us that if we do not take
time to be well, we most assuredly will take time later on to be ill.
If
things continue to be debilitating, seek the advice of reputable people
with certified training, professional skills, and good values. Be
honest with them about your history and your struggles. Prayerfully and
responsibly consider the counsel they give and the solutions they
prescribe. If you had appendicitis, God would expect you to seek a
priesthood blessing and get the best medical care available. So too with emotional disorders. Our Father in Heaven expects us to use all of the marvelous gifts He has provided in this glorious dispensation.
If
you are the one afflicted or a caregiver to such, try not to be
overwhelmed with the size of your task. Don’t assume you can fix
everything, but fix what you can. If those are only small victories, be
grateful for them and be patient. Dozens of times in the scriptures, the
Lord commands someone to “stand still” or “be still”—and wait.6 Patiently enduring some things is part of our mortal education.
For
caregivers, in your devoted effort to assist with another’s health, do
not destroy your own. In all these things be wise. Do not run faster
than you have strength.7 Whatever else you may or may not be able to provide, you can offer your prayers and you can give “love unfeigned.”8 “Charity suffereth long, and is kind; … [it] beareth all things, … hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth.”9
Also
let us remember that through any illness or difficult challenge, there
is still much in life to be hopeful about and grateful for. We are
infinitely more than our limitations or our afflictions! Stephanie Clark
Nielson and her family have been our friends for more than 30 years. On
August 16, 2008, Stephanie and her husband, Christian,
were in a plane crash and subsequent fire that scarred her so
horrifically that only her painted toenails were recognizable when
family members came to indentify the victims. There was almost no chance
Stephanie could live. After three months in a sleep-induced coma, she
awoke to see herself. With that, the psyche-scarring and horrendous
depression came. Having four children under the age of seven, Stephanie
did not want them to see her ever again. She felt it would be better not
to live. “I thought it would be easier,” Stephanie once told me in my
office, “if they just forgot about me and I quietly slipped out of their
life.”
But
to her eternal credit, and with the prayers of her husband, family,
friends, four beautiful children, and a fifth born to the Nielsons just
18 months ago, Stephanie fought her way back from the abyss of
self-destruction to be one of the most popular “mommy bloggers” in the
nation, openly declaring to the four million who follow her blog that
her “divine purpose” in life is to be a mom and to cherish every day she has been given on this beautiful earth.
Whatever
your struggle, my brothers and sisters—mental or emotional or physical
or otherwise—do not vote against the preciousness of life by ending it!
Trust in God. Hold on in His love. Know that one day the dawn will break
brightly and all shadows of mortality will flee. Though we may feel we
are “like a broken vessel,” as the Psalmist says,10
we must remember, that vessel is in the hands of the divine potter.
Broken minds can be healed just the way broken bones and broken hearts
are healed. While God is at work making those repairs, the rest of us
can help by being merciful, nonjudgmental, and kind.
I testify of the holy Resurrection,
that unspeakable cornerstone gift in the Atonement of the Lord Jesus
Christ! With the Apostle Paul, I testify that that which was sown in
corruption will one day be raised in incorruption and that which was
sown in weakness will ultimately be raised in power.11
I bear witness of that day when loved ones whom we knew to have
disabilities in mortality will stand before us glorified and grand,
breathtakingly perfect in body and mind. What a thrilling moment that
will be! I do not know whether we will be happier for ourselves that we
have witnessed such a miracle or happier for them that they are fully
perfect and finally “free at last.”12
Until that hour when Christ’s consummate gift is evident to us all, may
we live by faith, hold fast to hope, and show “compassion one of
another,”13 I pray, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
- 1. 1 Peter 3:8.
- 2. See Alma 26:27; see also Alma 56:16.
- 3. Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joseph Smith (2007), 267.
- 4. Thomas S. Monson, “We Never Walk Alone,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2013, 123, 124.
- 5. See Matthew 26:39.
- 6. See, for example, Psalm 4:4; Doctrine and Covenants 101:16.
- 7. See Mosiah 4:27.
- 8. Doctrine and Covenants 121:41.
- 9. 1 Corinthians 13:4, 7–8; emphasis added; see also Moroni 7:45–46.
- 10. Psalm 31:12.
- 11. See 1 Corinthians 15:42–43.
- 12. “Free at Last,” in John W. Work, comp., American Negro Songs: 230 Folk Songs and Spirituals, Religious and Secular (1998), 197.
- 13. 1 Peter 3:8.
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