I wish I could give you a more accurate source than this. But I saw it on Facebook and it was so fantastically true that I wanted to share. Please read! I think it just gave me the validation I've been seeking for being a Stay-At-Home-Mother even when our finances are a crazy mess.
Written by a Pre-School Teacher – It says it all!
I was on a
parenting bulletin board recently and read a post by a mother who was
worried that her 4 1/2 year old did not know enough. “What should a 4
year old know?” she asked.
Most of the answers left me not only saddened but pretty soundly annoyed. One mom posted a laundry
list of all of the things her son knew. Counting to 100, planets, how
to write his first and last name, and on and on. Others chimed in with
how much more their children already knew, some who were only three. A
few posted URL’s to lists of what each age should know. The fewest yet
said that each child develops at his own pace and not to worry.
It
bothered me greatly to see these mothers responding to a worried mom by
adding to her concern, with lists of all the things their children could
do that hers couldn’t. We are such a competitive culture that even our
pre-schoolers have become trophies and bragging rights. Childhood
shouldn’t be a race.
So here, I offer my list of what a 4 year old should know.
She should know that she is loved wholly and unconditionally, all of the time.
He should know that he is safe and he should know how to keep himself
safe in public, with others, and in varied situations. He should know
that he can trust his instincts about people and that he never has to do
something that doesn’t feel right, no matter who is asking. He should
know his personal rights and that his family will back them up.
She
should know how to laugh, act silly, be goofy and use her imagination.
She should know that it is always okay to paint the sky orange and give
cats 6 legs.
He should know his own interests and be encouraged to
follow them. If he could care less about learning his numbers, his
parents should realize he’ll learn them accidentally soon enough and let
him immerse himself instead in rocket ships, drawing, dinosaurs or
playing in the mud.
She should know that the world is magical and
that so is she. She should know that she’s wonderful, brilliant,
creative, compassionate and marvellous. She should know that it’s just
as worthy to spend the day outside making daisy chains, mud pies and
fairy houses as it is to practice phonics. Scratch that– way more
worthy.
But more important, here’s what parents need to know.
That every child learns to walk, talk, read and do algebra at his own
pace and that it will have no bearing on how well he walks, talks, reads
or does algebra.
That the single biggest predictor of high academic
achievement and high ACT scores is reading to children. Not flash
cards, not workbooks, not fancy preschools, not blinking toys or
computers, but mom or dad taking the time every day or night (or both!)
to sit and read them wonderful books.
That being the smartest or
most accomplished kid in class has never had any bearing on being the
happiest. We are so caught up in trying to give our children
“advantages” that we’re giving them lives as multi-tasked and stressful
as ours. One of the biggest advantages we can give our children is a
simple, carefree childhood.
That our children deserve to be
surrounded by books, nature, art supplies and the freedom to explore
them. Most of us could get rid of 90% of our children’s toys and they
wouldn’t be missed, but some things are important– building toys like
lego and blocks, creative toys like all types of art materials (good
stuff), musical instruments (real ones and multicultural ones), dress up
clothes and books, books, books. (Incidentally, much of this can be
picked up quite cheaply at thrift shops.) They need to have the freedom
to explore with these things too– to play with scoops of dried beans in
the high chair (supervised, of course), to knead bread and make messes,
to use paint and play dough and glitter at the kitchen table while we
make supper even though it gets everywhere, to have a spot in the yard
where it’s absolutely fine to dig up all the grass and make a mud pit.
That our children need more of us. We have become so good at saying
that we need to take care of ourselves that some of us have used it as
an excuse to have the rest of the world take care of our kids. Yes, we
all need undisturbed baths, time with friends, sanity breaks and an
occasional life outside of parenthood. But we live in a time when
parenting magazines recommend trying to commit to 10 minutes a day with
each child and scheduling one Saturday a month as family day. That’s not
okay! Our children don’t need Nintendos, computers, after school
activities, ballet lessons, play groups and soccer practice nearly as
much as they need US.
They need fathers who sit and listen to their
days, mothers who join in and make crafts with them, parents who take
the time to read them stories and act like idiots with them. They need
us to take walks with them and not mind the .1 MPH pace of a toddler on a
spring night. They deserve to help us make supper even though it takes
twice as long and makes it twice as much work. They deserve to know that
they’re a priority for us and that we truly love to be with them.
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