We've all heard Elder Packer's description of the Savior paying the
debtor's debt, describing for us how the atonement works to satisfy both the
demands of justice and mercy. Our repentance can be complete through the
atonement. (Video included at the end of post, in case you haven't heard/seen
it.)
Last night I read
from Lund's "Work and the Glory: So Great a Cause," a conversation
between two brothers about this principle. One brother, Joshua, wants to
understand how the atonement can make things better if the past cannot be
changed. This is his brother, Nathan's description. Bear with me as I share
this excerpt with you. My personal epiphany follows.
"Now to my
example with Charles. Let's suppose that he is playing stickball with some
boys. They are in a field across the street from a general store. Charles
knocks the ball with a solid hit. It soars out of the field, across the street,
and right through the window of the general store."
There was a bemused
smile. "That sounds like Charles, all right."
"So here we
have an interesting situation. The storekeeper has lost an expensive glass
window. He wants to be paid for its replacement. He wants justice. And that is
only right. But you are the father. You want mercy for your son. This wasn't a
malicious act. He's only six. He wasn't thinking. He didn't understand the consequences
of his actions. Should he be blamed and punished? And if so, how can he
possibly pay the damages? He earns no money, has no resources of his own."
He stopped and waited a moment before saying, "Do you see the conflict now
between mercy and justice?"
"Well, I
probably would have put it in different terms, but yes."
"So how do you
resolve it so that both mercy and justice are satisfied? Would you make Charles
go to work at the store until the debt is paid?"
"He's only
six," Joshua protested.
"And that
wouldn't be very merciful, would it? So be merciful to Charles. Just tell the
storekeeper that Charles is only a boy and that he—the storekeeper—will have to
replace the window himself."
"No, that's
not fair, either."
"Now you're
beginning to see why the Book of Mormon says that mercy cannot rob justice.
That would not be right."
"What if I
paid it?" Joshua suddenly said.
"Ah,"
Nathan said softly.
Joshua shook his
head ruefully. "Every time you say, 'Ah,' I feel like I just stepped into
a trap. Ah, what?"
"That's your
answer, Joshua. If you pay the storekeeper, will he be satisfied?"
"Of
course."
"He won't
insist that Charles actually make the payment?"
"No, not
unless he's a dolt."
"One more
question, then I'll make my point. If you pay for the window to the
satisfaction of the storekeeper, is everything all right now?"
Again, Joshua
sensed he was being led, but there was only one answer to that.
"Yes."
"But you
haven't changed the past," Nathan said quietly.
Joshua saw it now
and it hit him with full force. It showed in his eyes and around the corners of
his mouth.
"Nothing in
the past has been changed, Joshua, but mercy has been shown and justice has
been satisfied." Nathan went on, slowly now, choosing his words with great
care. "Suppose, then, that Jesus Christ went into the Garden of Gethsemane
and on the cross, and there he suffered so intensely that he paid the price for
all those terrible things that Joshua Steed did in the past. Suppose that he
suffered enough that Joshua's beating of his wife was paid for, not by Joshua,
but by the Redeemer. Would Jessica be satisfied with such a payment? Not from
you, but from the Savior?"
"Jessica
would," he finally said. "Others might not, but Jessica would."
I've understood
this from the debtor's point of view. And I'm eternally grateful for it. But
today, I came to understand it from a different point of view.
We all have people
to forgive in our lives. We always will. In my life, there is one particular
person whom I have a hard time forgiving. In fact, each time I think I've
forgiven him, something will come up, remind me of how much he hurt me, and I have
to go through the process of forgiving him all over again. The details of how
and why I need to forgive him are irrelevant. Suffice it to say that at his
hands I suffered my life's (to date) greatest betrayal and abuse.
Now, no one would
deny that I have been wronged. (The potential exception being the very person
who wronged me.) And being wronged, I have every right to restitution. It's
only just. Knowing the past cannot be undone, what would I ask of this person as
payment, if I could? That's a hard one, because really I'd wish the wrong never
happened. Since that is impossible, I would want him to feel—really feel—what I felt, what he did to me. I would
want him to suffer as I suffered because of him. I'd want him to apologize with
real sincerity; to feel so sorry for what he did, so sorry for what happened to
me and what I went through. I'd want him to try, in whatever ways possible, to
make my life better as an attempt to make up for his sin against me.
Remember the
analogy. Seeing how this person (let's now call him Charles) either cannot or
perhaps will not do these things, what am I to do? Just let it go? I deserve restitution. And God is
perfectly just. He would not rob me of that. He probably agrees perfectly that I
have a right to all those things I would ask of Charles.
Here's my epiphany:
Christ did all that! Christ made the payment. He felt what I felt, perfectly.
He suffered as I suffered. He feels so sorry, with perfect sincerity, for what
happened to me and what I went through. And He is doing everything He can to
make my life better. PAYMENT HAS BEEN
MADE!! It didn't come from Charles, it came from Christ, but unless I'm
"a dolt," I will recognize that my wrong has been righted. I
have received my restitution. And how can I reject payment from someone who,
disregarding this situation, has done so much for me? I can't. Of course I accept His payment in behalf
of Charles.
So you see,
forgiveness doesn't mean I've given
up my right for justice. I haven't given up anything. I have received payment
in full. Forgiveness only means that I stop holding a debt against Charles when
that debt has already been paid. (That doesn't mean I have to trust Charles to
play with a stick near my shop again, though.)
Wow. Just wow. I'd
never thought of forgiveness this way before. But it is so, so perfect.
Elder Packer's explanation of grace:
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